I just want you to picture the scene and realize how painfully beautiful it was

I’m back home for a few days, because ugh uni no. And being home with my lovely step-daddy is so lovely. He explained today that a lovely fireman had to take the stand, a man who ‘lives with his demons’— meaning he feels quite guilty about the events of that night based on his part of it. This poor man got emotional as he told his tale, and so did the three heroes (that’s what we’re calling my step-dad and the two others now, okay?). 

The judge silenced the court just before the end and turned to the man in the stand and said “on behalf of myself and the solicitors and barristers of this courtroom, I thank you for your service on that night”. How beautiful is that?

Can you imagine it? This man is stood on the left of the judge in front of everyone; feeling judged and terrified and so utterly guilty. And then, just as he has told his heartbreaking account of what happened, he is thanked for his effort. 4 and a half years of guilt and sadness brimming under surface, and then you are thanked for being a hero. That is the most beautiful scene I’ve pictured in a long time.

My step-dad got a bit sad explaining this to me, and so did I, especially as I had just had over an hour long journey back with my dad asking me about how everything was, explaining to me what he did on that night and how fire burns through certain substances (he went into so much detail he missed his exit on the motorway and we had to go back) AND I sat for an hour and a half updating my criminology lecturers on the trial— it’s all I’ve talked about!

I may go to court tomorrow or the next day, or I may not. We’ll see.